Squamazons

Our beautiful playground

One of the great pleasures of living in Sandwich is that Squam Lake is in our backyard. The land of snow mobiles and bob houses in winter (think ice fishing) transforms into a boaters and swimmers paradise in summer.

At seven miles long, Squam is the second biggest lake in New Hampshire (and the prettiest!). With numerous islands and coves and few houses visible on the shoreline, Squam is a heavenly sanctuary for wildlife and wild women… Squamazons, that is.

Squamazons in their natural habitat

Ours is an exclusive swim club, not because we discriminate in membership but because not everyone would put up with our rules and traditions. Here are some:

Squamazons are women. A few special male swimmers accompany us as mascots only.

Squamazons have special names, including, but not limited to,  Rocky, Sandy, Loony, Splash, Noodle, Pebbles, Bubbles, Turtle, and Tipsy. We currently have three mascots: Flipper, Hobie, and Merganser.

Women unable to swim with us can be honorary Squamazons ~ my mother is delighted to be Sunny. We even have a Junior Squamazon-in-Training. You may recognize her.

Fishy with Rocky & Noodle

The only required gear for a Squamazon is a swim suit (though this rule may be waved if swimming after dark). Goggles are encouraged and fins are allowed, especially for those who fear Snapping Turtles chomping on their toes. (No worries, Noodle!) A sense of humor is essential.

Rocky, Noodle, Loony, & Sandy in helmets

Not all Squamazons have stylish flowered swim caps (Loony calls them “helmets”), but those who do are only expected to wear them for special occasions, parades and photo shoots. (We haven’t as yet been invited to be in a parade, but we are ready.) The helmets are very difficult to swim in as they fill with water and make one’s head sink.

Touching The Jelly Stick

When a Squamazon sees The Jelly Stick (an old, somewhat slimy mooring rope floating about six feet under), she must alert other Squamazons, wait for them to gather, then dive down and touch it together. Underwater screaming is encouraged, but never, ever above water. (We have discovered another jelly stick just beyond the ropes at the town beach, but it is not The Jelly Stick.)

When swimming from the town beach rather than the customary boat ramp, a Squamazon may see The Skeleton. We do not attempt to swim down to it because it is twenty feet under. It should always, however, be remarked upon. (We have determined that it is a sunken white mooring with ropes sticking out, resembling a skull and bones. It is harmless but scary nonetheless.)

Hail to the Jelly Stick!

Most important: when approaching the rectangular rock on the far side of Sandwich Bay, Squamazons must move in absolute silence so as not to arouse suspicion from residents of “The House.” Sniffing the air to detect wafts of breakfast-making is encouraged. The smell of bacon is especially enticing.

Touching the rock is our most sacred tradition and must be done underwater simultaneously by all Squamazons. (Mascots wait at a respectful distance.) Swimming away from the rock backwards is encouraged but not required. (Swimming backwards is almost impossible for members wearing swim fins.)

Squamazon friends

Chatting on the swim back is encouraged, but when encountering water birds Squamazons must observe silence. We are especially honored when a Great Blue Heron or Bald Eagle flies over us, and we consider ourselves kin to the loons. When in the presence of loons, we stop swimming, tread water quietly, and watch. (Flipper may no longer make loon calls as they can be disorienting and/or disturbing to the birds.)

Creativity, including making up new swim strokes, is a Squamazon hallmark. We have invented the Butterbreast and Butterback, the Underwater Side Stroke, the Twirly Freestyle, and the Sea Horse. (Once while practicing the Butterback in the middle of Sandwich Bay, Loony was approached by a marine patrol boat. They wanted to be sure that she wasn’t drowning. Really, the butterback might appear as flailing, but it is actually a highly controlled stroke preformed by experienced swimmers.)

Squamazons at play

Synchronization is not required but always encouraged. If Squamazons are swimming beside each other, mirroring each other’s strokes and breathing patterns is enjoyable. (Not to be confused with stalking!) Rocky and Sandy have an ongoing synchronized swimming routine and are sometimes joined by Pebbles. All Squamazons are welcome to join in impromptu performances. (Click here to see a video of Rocky’s and Sandy’s “Squamazon Sunset Waterdance.”)

Underwater castles may only be constructed with items found on the bottom of the lake, such as bricks, fishing lures, interesting rocks, plastic forks, lighters (look for the

The Main Castle

red lighter in the photo of the main castle), and cell phones. (The phone in our cell phone tower has recently gone missing. We understand that someone may have had an emergency and needed to make a call, but we ask that it be returned.)

Maintaining the castles is our public service work. If you would like a tour, simply ask a Squamazon.

The Cell Phone Tower

Squamazons at work